What does it mean to you and others when you say that you’re “busy?”
Over the past few years, I have noticed a trend.
When I ask friends or colleagues how they’re doing, more often than not the answer I get is “busy.” I have even allowed myself to say that I’m busy too. I started hearing “busy” as an answer so much that it got me thinking about the word busy (and why we use it so much). I’m putting on my Coach hat now because my hope is that after you read this post, you’ll be aware of what the word busy really means for you, so you can own it or use a different phrase or word.
To get started, I performed an informal survey. Via social media and in-person coffee dates, I asked people what they think the word busy means to them. Invariably, I got two answers:
“I have so many things to do, that even though I really want to stop and talk to you right now, I just can’t.”
OR
“I am hiding the fact that I am not being as productive as I could or should be, and don’t want to be judged by you.”
Regardless of the camp you’re in, there seems to be a value judgement inherent in the answer. Either you’re doing too much or doing too little. If the word “busy” is laden with judgement, then what makes us use it so much, plus what is a potentially more empowering word or phrase to describe what we are currently up to?
To begin to answer this, we have to look at some of the tools we now have available to us that increase the value you may ascribe to the word “busy.” For example, we are all connected via one form of social media or another on our smartphones. Whether you’re an iOS or Android person, on social media everyone looks really beautiful and busy, having fun, traveling, attending fabulous conferences, getting married, having kids, playing with their pets and more. Wow-they are really busy!
Maybe you’re like me, but when I see all that social media glory, I sometimes think “what am I doing with my life and why don’t my pictures make it look that fabulous? I need to be busier and then my pics will look great.”
Smartphones and social media can’t be all there is to the rise in the usage of the word “busy,” though. So, I decided to go deeper. I found a HBR article by Greg McKeown. In this article, Greg quotes author Jim Collins. According to Jim, “The asset we are overvaluing now is the notion of doing it all, having it all, achieving it all; what Jim calls “the undisciplined pursuit of more.” Jim may be implying that the view we now have of the world via media is driving us to strive for more. Jim also writes that the undisciplined pursuit of more is built into companies that are moving fast to grow fast. It might not be such a crazy leap to say corporate America’s pursuit of more has seeped down to the individual, who now also wants more. After all, we are the individuals that power the companies that want more.
Clearly, the word is complex. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I am hoping you will think about the word or phrase you really want to use next time someone asks how you’re doing. Since my goal is to help empower you, I will provide some alternatives to answering with the word “busy” (although there is no judgment if you use “busy”).
The alternatives to “busy” are in two buckets below.
One bucket is based upon sharing achievements and the other is based on sharing emotions when asked what you’re doing:
Achievement-oriented answers:
- I’m really focused on achieving something right now and am under deadline. Can I get back to you-can’t wait to catch up?
- So happy you asked. I am super productive on this project. I want to hear what’s going on with you too. Can I get back to you?
Emotionally-driven answers:
- I’m feeling overwhelmed. I have several things happening at once and need to focus. Mind if I get back to you as soon as I’m able? I’d love to talk when I’m not distracted.
- I’m great. Things are going well, and the work is piling up so I’m focused on being productive. Chat in a bit?
Hope this helps!
