Five Fast Tactics For Coaching Away Your Own Anxiety, right in the moment!
Anxiety. It’s a word I hate to even use because I feel like when I do it gives it power.
Some anxiety is good. Some is bad.
Today, we are more anxious than almost anytime before. So, you know this from watching TV, or talking to friends, colleagues or loved ones. Anxiety is all around us.
Regardless of what people say, it’s my belief that we all have a high-stress lifestyle.
And, we deal with stress every single day. It looks different to each of us, because we are different. That means it shows up differently for each of us. For some, it makes us feel screwed up, sad and even isolated. For others, it may make us motivated and hyper to get things done. Either way, we may feel like we have a lot of problems. Sometimes, we may want to share what’s going on, but fear being vulnerable (especially the dudes out there). We may be lonely. If any of this speaks to you, know this: it makes sense that you feel this way, and you are totally ok to have these feelings and emotions. I mean that. I think it may be important for you to take a moment and
Say to yourself:
“it’s ok to have these feelings and emotions around my anxiety. It makes sense given the things that are happening around me.”
Ok, one more time:
“it’s ok to have these feelings and emotions around my anxiety. It makes sense given the things that are happening around me.”
Acknowledging and validating that it’s ok for you to have these feelings and emotions is important, so please make sure you do it. It really will shift your energy.
Whether you have economic anxiety, anxious self-talk, muscle tension, fear, rage, helplessness and even social anxiety, the good news is that there are things you can do in the moment to put anxiety in its place (my version of “screw you anxiety”) and temporarily reclaim your non-anxious self.
I want to be clear. You only need a few moments to intervene on anxiety when it hits you like a brick truck out of the blue (or as it slowly builds up). When you use these questions WHEN ANXIETY STRIKES, you’re on your way to being your own Anxiety Coach. Imagine that. You can be your own Coach. Yep. You. Ok, here it goes.
Ask yourself the following:
What thinking am I doing?
You might be asking yourself, what the heck does he mean? By this I mean, am I mind reading a situation when I’m with someone and they’re not responding the way I want them to? Or, am I fortune telling, meaning am I projecting what I think should have happened and when it didn’t, I’m quietly or not so quietly freaking?
That’s why I mean by “what thinking am I thinking?” Just identify what thinking you are doing. Ok. Now.
How likely is it that the worst thing you are thinking about will actually happen?
Estimate it. Seriously. Think about Vegas.
What are the odds that what you’re thinking about will actually happen?
Is it 0%, 10%, 50%, 70%, 100%? What makes you give it the probability you did? Then…
What is the worst outcome that could happen if what you’re thinking about occurred?
What’s the best outcome that could happen if your worst fears do NOT occur (which may be the case much more often than not) And, super important….
What evidence exists in the past that this “thing” will happen?
A lot of the time we assume that something will happen because it’s happened before or we think it will happen.
Look at the evidence of what happened before. And if it did happen, and it might happen again, remember that the situation then is different than the situation today. Time is different. You are different. People around you may be different. You will respond differently.
This last piece is so important because it reminds us to take care of ourselves.
If someone else you care about was feeling the way you do, how would you soothe them? What advice would you give?
Now the cool energy shift. I tell people to do this to remind them why the worry is not really the big problem we may feel it is IN THE MOMENT. I suggest you use language like “This worry or anxiety is not a problem because…. go ahead and fill in the blank.” For example, you may say “this worry or anxiety is not really a problem because it’s never happened before and the likelihood of it happening is only 10%” or you can say “this worry or anxiety is not really a problem because when it did happen before, I fixed the issue. I was the solution.” Say those sentences out loud, really loud or in your head really loud.
Visual tools help as well. A critical tool I use with clients to help them reclaim a more positive energy also may help you.
Write down on a piece of paper, on your laptop, tablet or sticky “I am capable of overcoming this. I am the solution.”
I truly believe in this. It will shift your energy from fear or inactivity to solution. It has worked for me and for countless others. Put this piece of paper anywhere where you find your anxiety ramping up (like in front of your smartphone or laptop when you open your email) and say those words to yourself whenever you feel the anxiety ramping up.
Say “I am capable of overcoming this. I am the solution.”
Stand up if you’re sitting to shift the energy too. Put a favorite song on if you’re driving. SHIFT YOUR ENERGY!! This works.
That’s it for today’s segment on Coaching Away Your Own Anxiety in the moment. Remember, you are the solution. I mean it. I truly do. YOU, YES YOU, ARE THE SOLUTION.
Thanks for stopping by and come back for more!
